A 'lil HooHaa

Messing with the blogging world since 2005

Living with Diabetes

Living life happy: Thoughts on health (physical and mental) and finding peace

My normal style when I write is to go a traditional route. I write the beginning and then the bulk, and then finish up. 

Rinse, repeat. 

But this beginning I’ve re-written multiple times. And some of the bulk, too. This post has taken multiple shapes before arriving at the current version. 

And it’s a bit lengthy. But that’s OK… as I had a lot to get out. So hopefully you can hang with me throughout. 

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve truly blogged, outside of the monthly photo challenge. And while I usually enjoy said challenge, I miss the aspect of blogging and putting thoughts and other things out there. It allows me to put things into perspective and often see things from a different lens. 

Also, reality is, it’s sometimes good to hold yourself accountable a bit and put your own thoughts and such out there. Especially when you blog!

LIFE

Here’s a bit more reality – I’m not getting any younger. That is a reality that hits every single day. Whether it’s creaks and aches, or just how tiring a regular day (if there is a such thing) can be. 

For those of you in and around my age – give or take – do you remember being in your early 20s? 

I do.

How many nights would you spend horse-assing around with friends, work during the day, booze it up a few nights a week, and then do it all over the next day? I know I took chances and unnecessary risks and sometimes I wonder how I made it this far. 

You need to smile more in life … as we get older, there’s a lot of crap that gives stress. So smile as much as you can!

Yet, I’m not sure I would trade it for anything. 

Honestly, I wasn’t even that crazy. Among many of the friends I ran with, I was probably the safe one (depending on the crowd). Whether it was back roading and just having fun (remember, no internet – we actually used CBs!) to hanging out at the bar, we live life a bit. 

In fact, I know many people who did things way worse than I did and are still kicking. Hell, some of them are probably still as crazy (or worse) than they once were!

But this is also where reality comes into play. Some of those people I ran with are gone. Some never made 50. Others might still be with us and not in the best of places. 

That’s life. For good or bad, it’s how things are. 

While I had a lot of plans for this post, I’ve decided to dial it back just a little bit and I’m going to base this mainly on health – physical and mental. While a lot of things can be part of this, I’m going to talk about my path and how I’ve gotten there. 

I’m going to break this up as I go because there’s a lot when it comes to talking about health.  But one thing is for sure – I am truly happy that I have good health insurance as I am utilizing it to make sure I take care of myself – physically and mentally. With the way this world is, one needs to make sure they take care of themselves. Make sure you breathe and see what will benefit you. Do whatever you feel you have to do to make you feel whole. 

It’s not an easy task. I’ll get to the harder side of that, at least in my eyes, in a moment. First, the “easy” part – the physical aspect. 

PHYSICAL HEALTH

Living with Diabetes

Goodness has a lot happened since the last time I wrote about living with diabetes. If you’ve read my blog, you know I’m a Type-2 diabetic. 

At times, I control it well. Other times, not so much. 

But, since I’ve last blogged about this, a lot has changed. I *finally* accepted that no matter what I did, I would trip at times. And that made my numbers go all over. That meant finally realizing that insulin wasn’t a bad thing. In fact, it was there to help me. And I don’t take a large quantity of it, but it has helped and I’ve learned to adjust the dosage if necessary. 

Still, how did I get there?

Living with Diabetes logo

My A1C has been all over the place for the past several years. For those who don’t know, your A1C is your long-term blood sugar readings. A few times over the past few years, I’ve gone beyond 10. That’s not good. I know this yet I have not always been good with things. It’s a vicious cycle. I work and work, but then feel like I can’t get ahead. Then I stress eat or I just end up not caring. 

Again, not good.

For a while, my primary physician had been trying to talk me into insulin. But I kept pushing back. And why? Because I thought by taking insulin, I was a failure. You heard that right – in my mind, I was failing if I took something that would actually help me. 

Because hey, I had been doing so well without it. 

So I did research. I learned about insulin. I asked him questions through email. I finally accepted that this wasn’t a failure… far from it. In fact, it was something that would help me. I don’t want to lose digits or limbs later in life. So I need to be smarter about things. 

It just happened to be the next step. And so, I went on insulin. And with that, things started to improve. 

Go figure. 

It also allowed me to get off Ozempic, which was awful for me. It played games with my digestive life, and despite having great insurance, it was so expensive. I’m one who would actually rather insurance money go to something I feel actually helps me. 

I then figured out insulin wasn’t a failure, rather a success. That’s a change of thinking, eh? It’s just a step in life to help me manage things and make sure I’m not slowly killing myself. And what happened? Well … my numbers and readings started to go down. 

So much so that my last blood work came with a 7.1 A1C reading. For me, that’s huge. The last time I was that low was September 2021. 

That’s a long time. 

Since 2021, I’ve had my numbers reach double digits multiple times. And here’s the thing, when you are battling something like this and don’t see immediate results (welcome to this day and age) it’s hard. And then when you don’t see results in a week or two, it becomes depressing. That’s where stress eating comes in. Or you stop checking your blood (see no evil, hear no evil!), which obviously isn’t a good thing. Next thing you know, your A1C is out of whack. 

So things are going OK there. And it’s funny when your blood sugars are decently controlled – you have more energy and a better outlook. Go figure. 

My A1C will likely bump up a little net time for a few reasons. But I’m still working on things and I’ll keep pushing. 

Shoulder time

Many years ago, I played in a softball league that used to start games in mid-April. Anybody who has lived in central (and upstate) New York knows that the weather can change quickly in the spring. Anyway, had a game under the lights and was told I needed to catch. No problem. First inning, we go through warmups and I go to throw the ball down to second and … it felt like my arm went with it. 

Ouchies. 

It didn’t help that I didn’t really warm up. I mean, hell, I couldn’t have been more than 21-22 years old. Who, at that age, worries about these types of things. I should have. Since this happened, my arm hasn’t been the same. I learned to live with the sometimes pain of it. Alas, over the last year or so, it got worse. Sleeping on it was painful. Throwing the ball for the dog was tough. I’d had enough. 

So I mentioned it to my primary. 

I got into Ortho. I got a cortisone shot (which sent my blood readings way up for a couple of weeks). And I started going to physical therapy. And, as I am writing this, my arm feels better than it has in 20+ years. There’s still work to go, but I feel as though I’m on the right track. I have at least one more PT session (maybe a couple) and another visit with ortho to see if anything is next. One thing my doctor offered was some test with neuro to see if it’s something like that – but if it’s not needed, I will cancel that. I’ve been told it can be a painful procedure. 

Pain isn’t fun, that’s for sure. 

This has helped me in different parts of my life as I feel like I can do more without having to protect the shoulder. It will still take a bunch more time, I’m sure. But I’m on the right path. 

Other aspects

Add to all of this but about a year ago, I started going back to seeing a chiropractor once a month, Just for some maintenance. The one I go to not only accepts insurance, but has built a trust. I’m skittish with certain things that chiropractors do, but with him it feels safe, secure, and no issues. This is important, too, as it’s a nice way to make sure your back and such are in sync with the rest of your body. 

I definitely walk a lot, too. Blame (or credit) Harper for that, but no matter the weather, we get our two or three walks a day in. 

And while I’d love to get my heart rate up a bit more, I’m not against just walking with her and letting her explore. After all, it’s one of life’s great joys to have an amazing dog. 

Next up is truly trying to figure to drop some more weight. Over the past 3-5 years, I’ve dropped a bunch. It’s been a slow road, though. And that’s OK as it’s pretty much stayed off. Still, I need to find ways to get more off. 

MENTAL HEALTH

Being real with myself

This section is going to be a little tough. And it might be a little raw at times. While I don’t consider myself a threat with any self-harm or anything, the reality is I’ve been in some low places. I battle – and that’s fine. But you can’t always do it alone. 

Getting help isn’t a bad thing. But until you come to terms with that, it does look like a weakness or, again, a failure. 

This part of my own health is probably the more important part of my current health journey. After all, if you can’t function daily because of stress, anxiety or anything else, what can you do?

If you had asked me 10 or 15 years ago about going to therapy, I would have laughed it off. Honestly, 15 years ago, I’d have never been able to afford it. My absolute issue was thinking of therapy the way society portrayed it – go lay on a couch and somebody asks you about your childhood. 

Therapy has come a long way. 

I know multiple people who have gone to therapy and speak highly of it. I know others who said it didn’t work for them. 

I was torn. I didn’t know if I honestly wanted it. There is still a stigma attached to it and I tend to avoid things like that. And that’s probably because I don;’t shy away from things – if I do something and it’s helping, I will talk about it with others. So that stigma makes one think, 

Part of that was scary. If I went to therapy and it worked, does that mean I’m broken? That something is wrong with me? 

Not going to lie: part of going to therapy was to make sure I’m in good spirits around this one. And how couldn’t you be?

Far from it. After all, have you seen what this world is like? 

At some point, I got curious. So I started looking around locally. I didn’t want to have to travel too far, but I also wanted certain things from a therapist if I took this step. 

I started looking around. I found some different practices, but one drew my eye. I’m not sure why. It could have just been the way she described her practice etc. And, honestly, it may have been because as I read, I felt I wouldn’t be her normal sort of client. I still didn’t do anything. 

However … 

I’m one of those guys who has a ton of tabs open and I don’t always shut down my web browser. So … that tab honestly sat there for months. I’d shut things down my computer sometimes, and then all my tabs opened back up. And every once in a while. I’d come across the website, read it again and then slide away. Months went by and I finally decided to look deeper. I did a Google search to learn a little more and one site noted she wasn’t accepting new clients. 

Well, shit. 

At this point I actually felt ready. I didn’t care about any stigmas or anything. So, I said hell with it and reached out anyway. To start things off, there was a free phone consultation. I liked that because it seemed like a good way to feel out if I felt this was for me or not. I sent a quick email and kept it short and to the point: 

“If any info is needed — the basis of this is anxiousness, trying to feel more fulfilled, organizational, and just the ability (or lack thereof) of being able to disconnect and appreciate things more. Just taking this step is a big deal in my own mind, so hopefully this is the right one!”

And it’s absolutely true – me just reaching out was a massive step forward for me. It went from seeing this person’s website to actually taking a step forward. And based on that, we had a consultation. And then we chatted. And I filled out a questionnaire. And, it seems, I said the right things. I set up an appointment and I took a step I never thought I would take. 

I actually felt a lot of vulnerability. And not in a bad way – but in a way that was allowing my mind to accept that everything wasn’t perfect and that I couldn’t fix everything just by existing. 

A lot of times I truly thought I could do that. 

Here’s a secret – it didn’t work. 

I had to accept that everything wasn’t perfect. I don’t want to say I hit “rock bottom,” but it’s the best way to explain it. I needed to come to the conclusion that I had to find a way to get help to fix things. 

So I asked. 

Let’s be clear, though. There are different levels of getting help. I feel I’m on the lower end of things. To me, it wasn’t life or death. To me, it was a way to find out different aspects of me and to find fulfillment. And I realize, too, this isn’t an overnight thing. It will require some time and some maintenance. And that;s OK. 

But as I read about many other people and therapy, I realize I’m actually quite lucky. Sure, reaching out and getting some help is a big step and one I needed to do, but I also realize that so many others have it worse. Where therapy is a lifeline. And maybe me finally taking this step and taking care of myself will help me avoid anything major happening. 

And things happen for a reason, right? 

This therapist checked all the boxes for me – I didn’t want a male perspective, I wanted a female perspective; she took insurance (score!), and it was a more modern approach. Apparently some of the things I wrote out in the initial questionnaire resonated, too, as becoming a client worked out. I’ve been a handful of times since I initially went and I find it’s helped. I’ve found some clarity in life and a different viewpoint/outlook on certain things. It’s also made me realize life isn’t so bad. 

There’s a lot of shit in this world. And you add every aspect where stimulation can come from – work, relationships, a million streaming services or channels, the political atmosphere, social media, sports, finances … should I go on? You add every bit of that together and the human mind and body gets taxed. A lot. And I’m not talking about money. 

Before all of this, I would get highly anxious, stressed out, angry, or all sorts of other feelings. I’d be exhausted during a regular day. I would have a hard time concentrating and focusing on things that needed to be done. I would dive a little too hard into work and not so much into my personal world. 

That’s not really a way to live. 

And since I’ve started, all of that has improved. Vastly. 

The sessions I’ve had have been informative and a way for me to express myself. And it’s funny, too, as I’m not ashamed or embarrassed about going – even though I thought I would feel it. 

Timing, too, can be a major player. If I had done this 3-4 months ago, or longer, would I have felt the same way? Or, was the timing key when I made the initial contact?

It’s OK to take care of yourself. It’s not a bad thing to do things like this if it helps you live a better life. These are facts. You don’t need to fit into some stereotype because society says one thing or another. Be you. And take care of you. 

THE HARPER EFFECT 

I can’t talk about mental or physical health without talking about Harper. And though I thought I was going to go even longer, this post has already gotten super long … so I’ll tackle other things in a future post. 

Harper is a massive part of my upswing in things. It doesn’t really matter what kind of day I have, when I get home and see her things change. 

They truly do. 

She’s pretty amazing to have in my world.

We walk multiple times a day. We hang out with one another. She’s my rock. And she really also seems to know when I just need her to be with me. And even times when maybe I don’t need it! 

But, she’s my companion. We travel with one another. We hike and walk and go to different places. We go to baseball games and whatever else we can find. I skip a lot of things that aren’t dog friendly because I hate leaving her behind and I won’t leave her in the car for more than a few minutes usually (if I need to quickly run into the store etc). 

But I’d be lying if I said sometimes it’s hard. There are times I just want to do nothing, but I have to walk her or whatever else. And in the end, it’s usually a good thing. 

Remember the thing I said earlier about timing? 

Same goes here. 

I got Harper when I was ready for a dog. If I had gotten her a few years earlier, it might have been different. But I got her when I needed her most and it’s been a super blessing. 

This weekend, we embark on a road trip together as we head to GeoWoodstock. I’m anxious about parts of it with Harper, but excited at the same time. Though I’ve been to a handful of GeoWoodstocks – the largest geocaching events in North America – this will be the first with Harper. I know it will probably be a weekend of eating on the run or whatever, but I’m OK with that. The beauty of the weekend will be that it’s with her. Where we can go, we will. Where we can’t, we won’t. And that’s all good. We will handle this weekend together, as we always do. 

FINDING PEACE

I am sure I have a lot more to say about different things. This post got extremely long without me touching on some other subjects, which I plan to do in the future. My goal with this post was to let me kind of put some thoughts in order and, honestly, try and show to others who might look at things the way I once did, that taking control or getting help isn’t a bad thing. 

It’s a really good thing. 

Life is hard right now for many people. And the reason can vary for people – finances, relationships, work, personal life, political spectrum, health, family, friends and the list can go on. All of these items can be good for you or bad – and you never know what might be beating somebody else down. 

I’ve simplified a lot of things. I have some projects I want to work on that will make personal spaces better. I enjoy being outside and cooking on my Blackstone. I enjoy music much more than I have for a few years.

And it’s allowed me to find some peace in life. My zen, if you will.

I know this much, I’m moving in the right direction and I feel better in most aspects of my life than I have in a long time. I’m in a much better place.

That’s a start. And a big one. And one I’m happy and proud about. 

So I’ll end here … and if you’re still with me, thank you. I appreciate you reading and allowing me to take up a little of your time. I’ll now sign off with how Jerry Springer used to end his crazy shows – until next time, take care of yourself, and each other. 

Side note: I realized I tackled some topics back in January with this post, but this is by far way more in-depth about certain aspects.

Feel free to leave a comment, or e-mail P.J. at hoohaablog@gmail.com. Also, please “Like” A ‘lil HooHaa on Facebook!

On health: Mental, physical, and otherwise

For the record, this post is one I started writing a few months ago. I need to update as I go through this and get it current, but a lot of this is still highly valid. And it’s something I had worked on, so I wanted to make sure it was published.

Living with Diabetes logo

When I started this, I was still about a month out from my most recent doctor’s appointment. I knew my blood work wasn’t going to be the best, but I was working to make sure it was better. My appointment got canceled, and I rescheduled for soon after (got lucky there). And I might tackle some of that here, but I have a more in-depth post being worked on for that. 

The reality is I truly think I hit rock bottom with the blood sugars. And though I have thought that before, this time I truly think I bottomed out. And, in the end, hopefully that’s a good thing. All of this is on me. I have often said that I know I need to do A and B, but then I end up just doing C and D. 

And that’s not good. It’s time to change things up. 

Looking at the big picture

It’s understandable that people’s mental health may not be what they want to be. And while I try not to get political with my posts – I want to talk about something in a broad sense. The political spectrum since around 2015 has been crazy – on both sides. Candidates are more polarizing, more in your face and, depending on which party you are part of, see the other side as scary. It doesn’t matter who you support – the other side no longer says “hey let’s chat,” instead it’s “evil.”

Social media and the 24-hour news media cycle plays a healthy part in that. 

And, again, I don’t care which side you support – this is true on both sides. There’s an “extreme” version on both sides, and there’s a more middle to each side. But the “wings” tend to be louder and push things more. 

Unplugging is a way to find some balance. And what better way than to get outside and explore.

Social media, again, is a huge part of that. 

So what happens with all of this? Stress builds up. Worry builds up. Anxiety builds up. You see people in a different light than you once did. People end decades-long friendships; family members fight one another; neighbors look at one another differently; towns, cities, states, and countries divide; and there’s no longer a sense of … doing what’s right for the people. 

The reality is – we can’t control a lot of these things. The only thing we can do is work on ourselves and try to survive living in this world the best we can.

If you think it’s just politics, though, you’re crazy. 

As much as we may want to blame presidents or those in congress for certain things – they really don’t control a lot of things, such as gas prices. The corporate world is fully behind prices and everything else. Otherwise try and explain to me why gas in my area is about 3.39 per gallon. Go an hour away – and not off a major highway – and you can get it for 2.85 (ish). Go 10 minutes down the road from my town and it’s 3.25ish, or on Sundays, it’s less than $3.. 

That has nothing to do with where the delivery is coming from. 

Again, we can only control so much. The biggest thing we can control is ourselves and protect our own mental and physical health the best we can. 

I can say I haven’t done the best with that, but hopefully that can change. 

So, what’s going on? 

First, my blood sugars aren’t the best. My A1C from two times ago went down a tick, and then this last time in December took a noticeable and good drop. It’s still not where it should be. But it’s getting there. I am focusing a lot more on all aspects of health for myself and results have been good so far. 

Physically, I’ve maintained about the same weight as I’ve been for a bit, and it’s actually gone down a little. However, there’s definitely some inches coming off. Over about a 3-4 month span in 2024, I had put a little back on and I had been getting a little lazy about things. I was still stress snacking. I tried to limit it, but at times, it was hard. Since November, I’ve gotten immensely better with it. 

But, reality, the daily grind can tire you out. I don’t always push myself with walks with Harper etc. I need to do more of that and get out with her and explore more. Sometimes, weekends are just sloth-like times where I get a walk or so in and then just kind of veg. While I do believe those types of days are needed at times – especially for your mental side – it’s also not good to always have them. 

Get outside more. Take a breath. Find balance.

I have changed that a bit since 2025 started and I notice that I feel better. 

On the mental health side of things, I was stretched pretty thin toward the end of 2024.

I was exhausted mentally most of the time and was burning the candle at both ends when it came to work. I’m sure, like many people, the expectations surrounding what I do are often higher than they should be (pay grade!), and not sustainable. The balance there is very tough and I’m always trying to find a way to do so while still maintaining the level I have always strived to have. Sometimes it’s hard in my job, too, as you have multiple bosses, but also ones you don’t always see or hear from. Sometimes those lines of communication are tougher and you feel like you’re out on an island when it comes to certain things. 

I’m still new to exploring my own mental health and trying to understand what helps and what doesn’t. When you take everything into account – finances, health, personal growth, relationships of all types, professional life, and everything else – it’s so much for the human mind to absorb. You add in the constant flow of social media, media, and other screen time things, and it’s overwhelming. 

Heavily overwhelming. 

I often feel like I am in a bubble of sorts and you can’t get out. I often see things and it’s almost like a blank stare. I sometimes pass people when I walk and don’t even realize they are there. I miss a lot of the little things and that’s tough, too. I often pass by neighbors or others and I’m just in a daze, barely acknowledging somebody. 

I could be fully wrong, but that just seems like a sign of being overwhelmed with life. 

Is that any way to live?

What to do?

I’ve been trying to grasp things over the past few months. The reality is that I’m now 51 and some things aren’t as easy as they once were. At the same time, I also don’t want to cut out things I enjoy, so moderation is going to be key. 

I have a bit of a plan I hope to follow and we’ll see if it works. Here’s a bit of a glimpse of what I hope to do. 

Blood monitoring

Honestly, until mid-November, I had been fully shitty about this.. When I got up in the morning, I always forgot to check my blood before my walk. Then it doesn’t hit me that I didn’t until I’m midway through breakfast. Then I lose my head and just forget. I know one thing that needs to be done is get back into the routine of things. 

I also know that there are the ones that can be worn and are continuous. I’ve tried those before. They don’t work well for me because I end up bumping into something or forgetting it’s on and when I get out of the shower go over it too hard and they fall out. And once they are out, it’s done. I do have a sample one that I’d like to try soon and see if I can do it better, but I know how I am!

Anyway, I have multiple of the readers I use. It’s nice because it connects to my phone and to an app I really like – MySugr. And as long as I use this brand, I get the VIP part of the app free. I purchased a second lancet device, which allows me to keep one reader upstairs as a reminder to check.  My hope is that it will remind me to check at a couple of important times – the morning and at night before bed (so far, so good). The other I will carry with me during the day and check at different times. If I start doing this more, hopefully I can see any trends or anything like that to help. 

I can’t stress enough that this is one of the most important things I need to start doing again. While eating smart and exercising is huge, this is the aspect that will allow me to see how my blood sugar reacts to certain things. I won’t know if things go up or down if I am not watching this. So far, so good. I’ve been doing well with it and will hopefully keep it up. But it’s not always easy and I have to remember to stay focused. 

Since November, I’ve been checking multiple times a day and understanding things that are going on. It’s holding me accountable. I’ll get more in-depth with this in a later post when I update the whole diabetes journey. 

Eating better

Easier said than done, right? 

Overall, I think I’ve done better with this over the past year or so. But that doesn’t mean it’s perfect. Though I’m a bit more cognizant about what I am eating, and the amount that I am eating, I still will be stupid. 

I’m going to say this, though. If all one is doing is eating healthy and not necessarily enjoying what they are eating, then it becomes harder. There are certain foods that are good for diabetics (certain veggies, for example) that I just don’t like. I can’t just eat them for the sake of it. So I have to work around this. The reality is also that food can be a wonderful thing – you just have to be smart how much you eat. Me eating a small piece of candy isn’t going to kill me. Me eating bags and handfuls of candy every day, on the other hand, probably would help speed the process along. 

Anyway, I’ve started being smarter with this again. I am trying to see what works and what doesn’t. Sure, I love bread, but I need to watch that. I can’t eat 5 rolls a day, for example. Smaller portions. Better choices. Watching the snacking. All the little things can add up to bigger things. 

I love me some food, too, so it can be hard. Alas, I will do what I can. 

So, portion control. Watching what I’m eating. And being smarter when it comes to snacking and things like that. I also plan on having a pen-and-paper notebook where I keep track of all things health – a one-stop shop spot. I can’t lie, though. So far this aspect isn’t working out well. 

Social media/news intake

This is fully aimed at the mental health side of things. 

This world that we live in right now is a fully connected one. People have their devices and social media and everything else. It’s crazy to think about a world without these things. I am glad, personally, that I grew up in an era when the biggest technology aspect we had was a Super Nintendo being released. We’re now in a world where .. you can live virtual lives or play video games that are as realistic as possible. It’s a world where news isn’t delivered by a newspaper, rather those 24-hour “news” channels that are actually more “entertainment” We are in a world where social media dominates and people feel free to say anything they want without worrying about repercussions. 

To avoid social media, you have to find ways to get away from it. Do something. Like this day trip to Legoland New York earlier this month!

Add all of this up and it can hammer your mental well being. 

Think about it. You can scroll a feed and see a photo of a dog doing something goofy. It’s cute, harmless, and makes you laugh. 

Go into the comments. They’ll range from people loving it to paragraphs on why this person is a crappy pet owner because they don’t have the dog in their lap 24 hours a day. Take a video of a husky refusing to come inside during a snowstorm. How many posts will be about that person sucking because “dogs should be inside with their people.” 

Give me a break. 

I never realized, though, how much reading crap like this can harm you and your own mental state. And it’s every single topic out there. It doesn’t matter as people have opinions, think they are the only opinion, and that’s it. End of story. 

Keep in mind that there’s a lot of good with social media, but equally a lot of bad. Make sure yours makes you happy and not angry, upset, or frustrated. I’m working on it myself and hope that it stays in check. 

Balance

Is this not one of the biggest things that many of us strike out on?

I think this is something I really haven’t had a good grasp on – having a certain balance in life. Let me explain. 

Harper is a great stress relief that helps with balance!

As I mentioned before, I find, at times, I’m just exhausted after work. And I shouldn’t necessarily be. So that means my after-work activities a lot of times are just kind of sitting around. This despite knowing there are a lot of other things I can be doing.

And none of those things have to necessarily be strenuous.

Playing with Harper. Going for a walk. Maybe working on a project. Putting a lego set together. Writing for my blog. Reorganizing areas of the house. So. Many. Things. 

Now, I’ve been working on this over the past couple months and am getting a little better. And with my blood sugar doing better, I do seem to have a little more energy (go figure). I’ve also been better about going to bed earlier. That’s helped as well. 

Balance also includes everything going on in the world, right? As mentioned earlier, reality is knowing our world is in a 24-hour news cycle and with so many polarizing people and topics, people are on edge quite often. I’m doing a lot better with my social media consumption; I avoid most non-stop news things; and I just try and get through life with a little less stress. There are a lot of other things for my TV time, for example, rather than non-stop current events. And I know the argument about not paying attention etc., but I just can’t live my life that way. If one worries too much, or gets caught in the hoopla too much, it takes a toll on you. 

Where am I at?

I’m better. 

That’s a blanket statement, but it’s the truth. Since I started watching everything with my physical health in November, I’ve found a lot more enjoyment in things around me. I’ve worked on a lot of changes

Here’s some things I’m working on: : 

  • I rarely go on Twitter. It’s a cesspool and unless it’s for work or somebody sends me a link of interest, I stay away. 
  • I have been working on locking down my Facebook account. That includes unfollowing, or in certain cases, “unfriending” people who are negative or add no value to my feed. My feed is full of Harper or things about my adventures etc. I use it as my “happy” social media and will do everything I can to keep it that way. 
  • I still love Instagram as it’s easy to avoid things that cause stress. 
  • I am doing my best, too, to stay out of comments for the majority of social media. If I do dive into them, I make sure to take it with a grain of salt and if I feel like they are annoying me, I go elsewhere.
  • I am working on being more regular with this blog. Even if it’s rarely read, it’s therapeutic. 
  • I have done much better with daily journaling, and I’m really trying to find the best way to be organized with planners and everything else.
  • I have and will continue to keep a much better eye on my diabetes. Sometimes my numbers go high and I am working to connect the dots. I understand insulin more and what I can do to work with it. 
  • I am walking and staying active as much as I can. I know they say the step count isn’t necessarily the biggest thing to being active, but I am trying to make sure I get at least 10,000 steps per day. For me, that’s a magic number that is good for me to aim for. 
  • Less screen time has been good, too. That doesn’t mean I don’t watch TV, but I am trying to not be on a computer as much with free time. Building LEGO sets, for example, has been helpful. I’m going to start maybe hitting up my XBox again more and whatever else I can do to enjoy things. When the weather turns, I have some woodworking projects I’d like to complete as well as house projects. 

Those are just a few of the things I’m working on. Everything is helping. I feel better. I have more energy (most of the time). I feel I am sleeping better and I’ve made sure the walks Harper and I go on are usually longer than in the past. 

And that balance I talked about earlier? Well, that helps with the mental aspect of things as well. Your mind can be challenged in other ways and not so overwhelmed with others. 

Life is a long road. Reality is, I’m more on the downhill side of life so things tend to move a bit faster. I don’t know how much time I have left. Hopefully quite a bit more. But I know I want it to be positive and good for myself, rather than full of stress. 

Be kind, folks. To yourself and to one another.

Feel free to leave a comment, or e-mail P.J. at hoohaablog@gmail.com. Also, please “Like” A ‘lil HooHaa on Facebook!

Living with Diabetes: February 2024 check in

I haven’t written one of these posts in a while. Probably because I honestly haven’t done too well with things. My numbers are way higher than they should be and I’m doing, well, pretty shitty in holding myself accountable. 

But I have to look at the overall picture. Sometimes that can be really hard to do. 

For those of you who have followed my blog, you’ve probably seen these posts before. Though, to be fair, I’m usually doing *slightly* better. This time, it’s a mixed bag. I say that because I only can really tell part of the story. 

Living with Diabetes logo

See, my A1C for the last several checks has not been good. So much that we’re getting to the point where my primary is talking about either having to change medications or talk about insulin. These are not things I’m interested in, especially the insulin part. 

Somewhere along the line I kind of fell out of being smart with things. Well not everything. But at least checking and holding myself to task. Instead, I stopped checking on a daily basis. I know when it happened. At some point the meter and strips I was using wasn’t being accepted by my insurance and the supplies just … stopped coming. So I didn’t really pay attention and the checking just kind of … stopped. 

That’s not good. 

Meanwhile, other things were fine. I was losing something, whether it was pounds or inches. I felt I was going in the right direction. But each time I had an appointment, though I thought my A1C had to go down, it either didn’t, or it stayed status quo. 

Again, not good. So here we are. 

This is my fault, don’t get me wrong. I haven’t been the best with eating smart and all that. Though I believe that you need to live life no matter what and indulge in things you love, you still have to be smart. Sitting down and pounding down a bag of candy or something junky isn’t smart. A lot of it for me is stress eating. 

Back at it is what has to happen. So I spoke with my primary and a diabetes educator I see. We figured out a game plan of sorts, and I also needed a new meter and strips. 

I asked for a certain meter and test strips. I need things to use, such as graphs and all. If I use the one meter and strips, it connects to an app I like. This will allow me to see trends and understand what is going on. 

Insurance denied it. 

It seems they won’t accept this unless you haven’t done well with the ones they want you to use. So I called and had to issue an appeal. The person I talked to was great and she led me through the whole process. The appeal was granted. But then I had to fight back and forth to make sure it was done correctly. Finally, it was and the prescription was allowed to go through. 

But that brings me full circle to the other part of this. It hasn’t all been bad. In fact, the numbers baffle me a little considering other things have been going decently. Most of the rest of my blood tests are great. My weight kind of hovers around the same … I usually lose a few pounds from each appointment to the next. 

A nice long Sunday walk with sun and blue skies! The perfect medicine!

Here’s the thing, though. I look back to photos and all of how I was 10-12 years ago and it’s bad. I know what I weighed at my worst, and I know what I am now. The gap between the two is well more than 50 pounds. 

The last year and a half, though, something else has happened. Though the weight itself is coming off slower, something else has happened — I’m losing inches. In fact, in the last 12-18 months, I’ve dropped three pant sizes. The one I am in now is one that I haven’t been able to get into in probably 12-15 years — at least. 

Three pant sizes. 

My clothes fit me better, too. Shirts, sweatshirts, jackets — everything. They all fit better. Even my primary said that it’s not always about just the weight (though I do still want to drop a bunch more. I have a weight I’d like to get to). 

Without a doubt, a lot of this is because of Harper. 

Before Harper, I walked. Quite a bit actually. But if there was a morning I didn’t want to get up, I didn’t get up until I had to. If I was tired from work and didn’t want to walk at night, I didn’t. 

I don’t have that choice anymore. Harper and I walk in the morning and we walk at night. It doesn’t matter if it’s raining, snowing, sunny, cloudy or what — we go. And it’s rarely less than a mile, and usually a bit more. 

A perfect example happened a couple of weeks ago on a Sunday. We did 1.75 miles in the morning. With the weather so nice — sunny and in the 40s, we headed out in the mid-to-late afternoon, which was a bit earlier than her normal “evening” walk. So many sniffs followed. We saw some friends and we wandered into places we usually don’t. In the end, it was just s bit over three miles. 

That was a good walk! 

We’ve been doing a lot more of these walks, and I’ve enjoyed it. The daylight keeps increasing and seeing sun is a good thing. It really can pick you up. Soon enough, we’ll hopefully be able to chill out in the yard and enjoy that aspect of life as well.

But back to the beginning — the numbers.

In the end, the insurance company accepted my appeal and granted me the ability to use the meter and strips I want to use. Now it’s time to get back into a routine of checking 3-5 times a day and seeing what is going on with me. This should help me stay more accountable to what I am trying to do. It will mean a few sacrifices, sure. But it should be good for me in the long run.

Here’s to health and happiness!

Feel free to leave a comment, or e-mail P.J. at hoohaablog@gmail.com. Also, please “Like” A ‘lil HooHaa on Facebook!

Living with Diabetes: March 2021

It’s been a while since I did one of these posts, and there’s quite a bit to catch up on. Heck, to be fair, I’ve barely touched the blog outside of the Photo Blogging Challenge, so I need to kick it. 

The one thing I always loved about this monthly post was the accountability that it gave me. Without it, part of my accountability goes away. 

And my numbers have shown it. 

Living with Diabetes logo

I also realized I started writing one of these posts in February, and I never finished it and posted. So I am going to take things from that one and add a little more, so this could be a little longer. But that’s OK. I realize not a lot of people read these so it’s, for me, usually a way I can get my thoughts out there about how things are going. 

So where to begin?

As I write this, we are a year into the current pandemic. We’ve all been going through issues over the past year. The world is still crazy, mad, scared, upset, and every other feeling and emotion you can come up with. 

It just seems everybody reaches a breaking point and, at times, I feel I’ve reached said point more than once. 

First … the numbers

Since I’ve written about this last, I’ve had two A1C tests and they are up. But this was expected. I knew I wasn’t doing the best. The second one actually went down a smidge, but that’s because of how I rebounded in the final month. If I hadn’t, I can’t imagine what it would be. 

And why is this? 

I explained to my primary (after the first test) that yes, I knew, but I also knew what was part of it – everything going on. From the pandemic, to the political world, to everything else – I wasn’t being smart. I ate like shit, I wasn’t watching things, and when my finger prick checking of my blood sugars wasn’t great (even when I was being smart), I got frustrated and pissed off. 

So I’d eat. 

Yeah, not the smartest thing in the world, that’s for sure. And I knew it wasn’t smart, but I had no self-control. It was a crutch. 

That being said, I was keeping up my walking, for the most part. I’d stay as active as I could, but my free time was often on a computer and kind of tuning out life. 

But why?

Look, the past year has been tough. Everybody has their own story or narrative about the year. And if you are in different parts of the United States, or in another country – everything going on has a different impact on you. Some have taken it worse than others. The suicide rate is up. Depression is up. Tension is up. Some people haven’t worked in months. Others are working too much. Some want to be working. Some would rather be in their home away from everything. 

The way one person has been dealing with the past year won’t be identical to the next person. 

But, because this is from my eyes, let me outline a few quick snapshots. 

When this pandemic started, I was in the corner that we’d figure a way to contain it and we’d be back at it by May or June. I came to this conclusion based on things that had happened over the past 20 years (Ebola etc) where the world didn’t have to shut down. As it wore on, I realized it wouldn’t be a quick fix. I, like many others, had to come to terms with that. 

So, I buckled down and went at it. My workload from March through June was incredibly high. I did more hours in that span than I can account for, but it had to be done. And ever since, it’s been up and down with normal hours to many more. All part of life. 

But the little things get to you. As you look back and reflect, you can start pinpointing different aspects. I couldn’t go to baseball games. I didn’t want to eat out (I still don’t). I didn’t go geocaching or explore. I didn’t go on photo trips. I didn’t get to travel at all. I barely saw family and friends. 

This is the type of stuff that really gets to you. 

Politics

And what else did it? The presidential election in the United States. It doesn’t matter what side of the spectrum you were on for this – it was overwhelming. You have a global pandemic going on, social justice movements, and an insanely polarizing election cycle. No matter who one backed, there was tension. There were heated arguments and then add in social distancing (or lack thereof) and it got worse. 

No matter who one backed – we all had part in this situation. And the sad part is that it didn’t end in November, or even December, or hell, even January. It’s still going. We’re a nation divided and it doesn’t help with people and their mental well being. 

I’ve learned the block/unfriend/unfollow/mute buttons are very helpful in the social media world when it comes to a lot of this. I do it quietly, though. I’m not one of those who screams out I am leaving a group or I am eliminating people off my lists … I just do it. And believe me, I’ve done this to people on both sides of the political spectrum. It’s been nice that things have been relatively quiet, too. We know neither side is perfect — that’s for sure — but things being quiet is nice.

The weather

Depending where you live, this may or may not be something you are dealing with, too. But this winter near me has been shitty. It seems like we can’t go a couple of days without snow. And it’s not like we are getting feet at a time. It’s that steady, annoying, an inch or two here and there sort of snow.

We had a lot of snow this winter … which made things tough as well.

Sometimes it’s fluffy, sometimes it’s that “wet” heavier snow – like snowball weather. 

This really messes with your mind, too. 

There’s a day of sun and blue skies and you feel, even if it’s cold, that maybe something is turning. Then what happens? The next three days it snows. Two inches one day. Four the next. Three the next. It’s depressing. 

And it also forces me to stay in more. While I don’t mind walking in the cold, if I am out shoveling multiple times over a two- or three-day span, my energy is drained. 

And sure, shoveling 

The weather has been starting to turn for the better, though, so I am hopeful. But, I never think winter is done in my area until March ends. That being said, I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

Into my small world

Though I was a bit more outgoing and “free” when I was younger, I’ve become way more of an introvert in my adult life. “Adulting” absolutely wears me out. Small talk drives me crazy because nobody knows where to end a chat and all. Sometimes, I just want to put on some headphones and block out the world. 

I’ve had my own bouts with different things. If I have a day or two where my blood sugar is too high, I can go in several directions. I can get angry. Or frustrated. Or upset. Or any other emotion. It’s a battle that goes up and down based on my daily mood. 

The stress of work doesn’t help, either. 

The stress of life, too. 

I’ve been looking to buy a house, as well as a new car sometime this summer. I’ve thought about a dog (which I think would help me), and I’ve looked into buying a kayak this summer. I’d like to explore more and ride my bike more. And walk more. Some of these are big, some are small. But they all add up to make it hard, at times, to keep focused on other things.

Mental health

This is real. 

Think about yourself through all of this. Have you had any mental health issues? Has it taken a toll on your health at all? How’s your blood pressure? If you have diabetes, how are your numbers? How are other things? Are there any other underlying issues that have worsened during this time?

I have had my moments, that’s for sure.

Overall, though, I’ve taken it in stride the best I could. I’ve found ways to cope – whether it be a walk or binge watching something on Netflix, or trying to figure a way to shape my new personal journal (which may be one reason I haven’t blogged as much). Too often, I tend to slink back to the computer and that needs to change a little. The computer can be fun, be it some games or surfing or researching — but turning off the screen is important as well.

I’m trying to find different ways to do things to ease stress and I think that will help overall. The warmer weather will help. I plan to start playing some golf again as the weather improves, and I’ll be walking the courses more. Maybe I’ll get back to playing some disc golf. I want to explore some state parks. If a dog comes along, well … that can only help. Home ownership could help as well with all that it would involve. I want to do more with photography, and especially videography.

It’s the little things that will help. 

OK, we get it … the numbers. 

So … about those numbers 

The last two A1C reports were in the upper 8s – obviously not where I want to be. 

But … 

One of my recent readings before dinner.

A month ago, I met with a dietician. She was uber helpful. She helped shape my meals. She offered ideas based on what I like to eat. She talked about calories, and carbs. She explained certain things. And we worked on what I could do. 

The results have been crazy good. 

I made a spreadsheet to document what my finger prick readings were for the past month and it’s quite wild to see it drop. Over the course of four weeks my numbers have gotten much closer to where they should be and for that, I am excited and thankful. It gives me the drive to keep it up and see what I can do. 

Look, the reality is this – I don’t want my medication upped. In fact, I want it downsized. For this to happen, I need to do the right thing. I also requested a new blood glucose reader – one that syncs up with the MySugr app, so that should help as well. I’ll be excited when that arrives. 

And when I saw my doctor earlier this week? I’m down 11 pounds. So that is also a good thing that helps in many ways. If I can continue my progress and do things right — maybe I can finally build the habits I need to get healthier.

Moving forward

I have some goals for this year. I’d like to continue the weight loss. I’d like to get a bit more active with my walking (pick up the pace again), and hike/explore some. Maybe do some biking and kayaking. All that will help. And by the end of the year (I would have 2-3 more A1C tests this year as I go every three months), I want that A1C staying under 7 – as low into those 6s as I can get. 

And, I need to get blogging about these things more – not just this monthly write up, but the other features I have on here that have been neglected – such as the walking with a purpose and On The Trail. 

I can’t guarantee I’ll be full force, but I am going to try and do a bit more. I’ve really crawled into a shell and I need to come back out and experience life a bit more. 

And in the end, I think that will help me overall. 

I hope everybody is getting through this pandemic. Be safe. Mask up when needed. Have some distance. Be healthy. Be happy. 

Feel free to leave a comment, or e-mail P.J. at hoohaablog@gmail.com. Also, please “Like” A ‘lil HooHaa on Facebook! You can also follow me on Twitter @softball29!

Living with Diabetes: Managing during a pandemic

For those of you who read my blog, you likely know I’ve been working my rear off to get my diabetes in control. I’ve been doing pretty well with it, too. 

In fact, at my last blood test in February, my A1C dropped .5 points and I’m on the cusp of dropping under a 7 for the first time in a while. 

That has me pumped. 

Living with Diabetes logo

However, then COVID-19 hit, 

The world went into a lockdown. People lost jobs. Others work remotely. Some are afraid to step outside. Being diabetic, I’m told, I’m at a higher risk. 

Just what I needed. 

I’m thankful I didn’t lose my job. I’ve worked remotely for the most part, but I go into the office a couple of times per week. I utilize social distancing. When I’m in a store or in a public area where I might be around people and can’t be 6-10 feet away, I wear a mask. I’m doing the items I’ve been asked to do. Do I like or want to do them all? No. But I’m also in the belief that I am doing many of these things for other people, not just me. 

My work has really amped up, though. I’m having to juggle a lot of things and I know the next two months are going to be high-stress, probably longer hours at time, and definitely a time where I might not always be smart. 

First, let’s take working at home. For me, it’s not the best. You do some Zoom meetings and all and you might snack a bit. I don’t always check my blood numbers as I forget. I’m out of a rhythm. 

Now, I will say I get way more walking in. My morning and afternoon walks are usually a lock. Sometimes there’s a third. When I’m at the office, I tend to try and move more because there’s so few people around and if I don’t move and stare at the computer all day, I’ll go bonkers. 

Sometimes on weekends, I’ve found nature areas and places to hike so I can get a change of scenery. I’ve tried to take photos and videos. When the weather is nice, I’ve tried to take advantage of it. 

But this time for everybody is hard. We’re not doing normal things. We want to, but we can’t. And that takes a toll on somebody’s body. 

The times I’ve checked my blood sugars, there’s some elevation at times. Not always mind you, but sometimes. I know there are times I pick at snacks because of the situation I am in. I don’t think I’ve really packed on pounds as clothes tell me otherwise. I’m trying to be as smart as I can. My portion sizes haven’t increased. 

Still, I know I haven’t been great. 

My next doctor’s appointment is June 30. I am supposed to get blood taken before then, so we’ll see how that goes. I hope I don’t see my numbers go flying back up, though I know that will be possible. 

For now, I need to get back to where I was before all of this started. That means watching what I eat. Moving. Not snacking all the time. Sometimes it can be very hard, as I am sure others will note, too. 

I keep plugging away. The best I can, anyway. It’s also my hope you are all doing well. 

Stay safe and healthy.

Feel free to leave a comment, or e-mail P.J. at hoohaablog@gmail.com. Also, please “Like” A ‘lil HooHaa on Facebook! You can also follow me on Twitter @softball29!